*Madrid, Spain

Scenario - You are a middle-aged woman from Uruguay. You hear through the shady grapevine that you can score some extra cash if you can make about 10 pounds of cocaine, go Spain.

How to fool Civil Guards by an amateur Drug Trafficker:

1. Convince a near century-old lady to join you on a trip to the land of España

2. Discretely strap the packets of coke to her frail legs and torso

3. Insist that your 'grandmother' be given a wheelchair at the airport

4. Smile as you bypass security checks

Arriba, Señora, arriba! 

Unfortunately, you kind of blew your cover with Customs control when you ran away without Nana. Sorry :/

Farmington, Maine

Scenario - You are a 65 year-old woman who really loves animals. In fact, you love them so much you hoard them in your home despite local and state laws. You have developed quite a reputation since a court order was placed on you several years ago when 70 random animals were found grazing, chirping, barking, scratching, slithering, pooping, shedding, meowing, hibernating, mating, stomping, and grooming - all in your living room.

How to defend your animal kingdom by the Original Cat Lady:

1. Ignore your court order

2. Rebuild your mighty animal collection

3. Buy a stun gun

4. Use said weapon on any State Trooper that comes to visit

Another 40 domestic and farm animals including alpacas?! I'll be honest, I had to look those up!

Unfortunately, while pets can and often do make enjoyable companions, there really is such a thing as too much of a good thing . Sorry :/