Boyceville, Wisconsin

Scenario - You are a farmer. One day while harvesting corn you accidentally hit an animal with your combine. It was a 700 pound bear. Turns out it was shot while out of season months ago.

How to mount a 'trophy' bear by Neil Schlough:

1. Buy a $75 tag from the State Department

2. Take poor Yogi to the taxidermist

3. Sue the State Department when they seize it as evidence

Neil, you are master of your domain. Go get that bear you earned!

Unfortunately, the confession by that West Fargo hunter really blew your chances of impressing anyone when you tell the story of how you managed to conquer this formidable beast. Sorry :/